Great Progress, change of heart, a trip to remember!

T-minus 5 days before Cabo San Lucas! I have been working my ass off to get into shape for Tough Mudder, for Drill Sergeant School, a single "cage fight", and for Her. I have been toying with the idea of finally trying out for Special Forces. I'm old, sure, but I meet all of the requirements. ASVAB, GT, Clearance, Airborne, Language.... the physical is coming along nicely. Who knows... I have a year and a half to make it happen (as in going the Officer route, as well as 18B or 18C - perhaps a Detachment Commander...) and I figure that, by 42, if I haven't done it, then I won't ever. If I could get the Ex to watch the kids... it could be done. I would only worry about Her. Distance and us just don't mix. Time will tell... my heart is in it. Shit, it never left. Just why is that?

Been running 3 to 4 miles every other day. I need to buck up and increase my miles, and keep doing pull ups, dips, push ups, abs... all the things to make dense, lean muscle, rather than gain size. Ideally, I would like to hit 175 to 185 lbs. I am currently 207 and, while I look ok, it is clear that I have 20 to lose easily. I really want to get rid of these G.D. love handles, I can say that much. Going for a 3.5 miler tonight. Probably step up to 5 per run (with a 2 miler for PT score and speed thrown in once per week) by February. Just need to find comfortable and viable/safe-ish routes to be able to hit morning, day, and night.

Must get back to my bike in the next month. Hoping to put some more money and time into it by mid Feb. Just like everything else, it takes dough. *sigh* All in all, 2012 is shaping up to be pretty good. My main thought is "am I a glutton for punishment, or is she really giving me a second shot? Human nature is to wonder, and my nature is to plan. I can deal and roll with it, but sure would be nice to know! lol.

The New Year is going to be great!!

Well, the running has suffered. I had to take a break from any kind of distance and get back to speeding up my two miles to around 14:30 (which is pretty effing quick for me). I need to get my PT test done soon, so I can get back to distance. I MUST do Tough Mudder this year. Looking at Utah, New Hampshire, and (definately) Squaw Valley, and (mayyyybe) one in FLA (we'll see *laughs*). I cannot express how excited that I am, or eager to do these races. I only fear (and need to embrace) the electricity. Ride-the-fucking-lightening...

Drill Sergeant School is pushed off until June, and I might be taking a trip out to FLA sometime in March or April. The reason sucks, but the trip and the time will be amazing. I am simutaneously preparing for D.S. school, Tough Mudder, and a "cage fight". I really want to throw down with someone younger, trained, and in shape. I want to challenge myself beyond whatever else I have ever done, and I want to succeed where the younger NCOs currently are. Father time will win, but I won't ever give in. In 20 years I will still be me. I wish that was clear now.

I managed to close out some personal business, or rather it came to me and allowed me to find some peace in moving towards closure (not what I had hoped for, back in the day, but what simply is). I have been told by friends and family (hers and mine) that I am "fucking stupid", "somebody comfortable", and "asking for whatever you get", but I feel like having the chance to spend some time, before what is almost certainly inevitable (her moving, or moving on), is so much better than being cut off and out of her life. I like the closure, not just some bullshit text to tell me I don't matter. Tell me I don't matter, start seeing other people... let me learn to dislike you in person, or see that I was always true, and all of them, ALL OF THEM were wrong. Did they argue for her, or her happiness, or did they argue for their own perceptions and bias? Call me a sucker, but true love doesn't just die...it just gets a little more guarded.

January is Cabo San Lucas time! Heading to Mexico in Mid January for a week with a few friends. Wish I had one more...but that IS wishful thinking indeed. When I get back, I need to sink a bunch of money into my motorcycle. Going to lace a custom 21" for the front wheel, run electrical through the frame, mount the seat, fender, chain tensioner, and complete the tank. I have to upgrade the engine to some parts that allow the exclusion of a battery (permanently), and boost the H.P., and constant amperage for the lights. Blah, blah, blah....that shit is going to be retarded. I cannot wait to get on that bike. Every ride will be like taking my own life into my hands; no front brake, no turn signals, rear drum brake only.... "Do one thing, every day, that scares you". - Baz Luhrman. Goddamned right.

Running for distance and time....

I managed to get a four mile run in yesterday, and dropped three full minutes from my standard time. I'm going to run a 5K tonight, with hills, just to keep the short distances for faster time. I'm trying to stay motivated, both for personal fitness, as well as for my ultimate goal of getting through (in a somewhat competetive fashion) Tough Mudder. I'm hoping that my time in Utah will give me an extra boost with the mountain elevation versus the sea level running that I'm currently training at. I think a lot of this simply boils down to gutting it out.

I was promoted to E6 this last week. The higher rank is very nice for me, as I feel that I've earned it. The extra money will be nice for some of my hobbies.

The training continues. Yeah!

In stark contrast to my last post, I am bouyant and pleased now. :)

I got up early and went for a little more than a 5k run this a.m. I need to keep running four to five times per week and, initially, just continue adding time rather than distance, in order to build up my endurance. I have increased my lifting totals, both in numbers of repetitions and in over all weight. I have gained muscle mass, and am still losing fat, which is awesome.

My immediate goal is to add approximately five minutes per week to my run time, which should, ultimately add a little over a half mile each week (hey, I'm old and the longer I go, the slower I get! lol) I would like to be up to seven or eight miles by mid January, in order to have a good base to build on for my final goal of 14 miles. While I'm not trying to run a half marathon, I am indeed hoping to have more gas in the tank for the ten mile, obstacle laden Tough Mudder, as well as the 13 mile Spartan race (if I opt for that one...looks a bit goofy). Besides, if I can get to 14, then I can get to 24, and then I can shoot for the Iron Man, which is the end all, be all of what I would consider my finest physical achievement.

Going to Utah in mid January is going to put a bit of a drag on my progress, as I'll be running in elevation, as well as trying to find time to run in the snow, and in between classes. I don't think I can gain at first, but I sure hope that I don't lose too much either.

Have a great week!

Details, details....

I find that the little things, when viewed in the end result, are not so little. A little lie, a little extra dessert, a little thing forgotten; The butterfly effect perhaps? My week was filled with little things that, in and of themself, weren't a big deal, but the cumulative effect was awesome in its damage! lol. All things, well... most things, can be fixed; As with my confluence of disaster. There is always another day, week, effort, attempt, etc; A great end to a tumultuous time, says I!
One of my dearest friends is on a Scotland/Ireland trip right now and, as if I needed any further prompting, has me realizing just what I've been missing. Time to get my kit in order and make that trip happen. I would dearly love to go in 2012, but between the two Army schools that I have tried (and succeeded) to get, the Tough Mudder, and my two vacations planned (oh..and work), it'll have to wait until 2013. Now...Tough Mudder IS advertising an Ireland 2013 venue. Hmmmmmmm.
My running, weights and, especially, pull ups are coming along GREAT! I should be right where I need to be by January, and most definitely by race time. The goal is to finish, but to finish strong (especially for the old guy, both in school as well as in T.M.) would really kick some ass.
I love the Fall....running, smelling the crisp air, feeling the rain, and being able to wear long sleeves! lol. Makes me yearn for my wonderful Boston. Great times.

God through my iPod....

Had a terrible morning, and was pretty down, thinking about my ex girlfriend (seemingly out of the blue, no less) and my iPod started shuffling nothing but random shite songs... Waiting in Vain, Cathy's Clown, Ode to Joy, Suspicious Minds... the day seemingly was going down hill. (Today, I hate her... she said she did, and changed to...what? Have some hook up in a filthy place, with some fucking random guy(s)? Fuck you. Yeah, fuck right off). I prayed and gave thanks, for the many things that I do have, and for forgiveness for my many sins (I like to sock fellas and cuss a whole lot, and be hateful, unfortunately), and went about my business. Within an hour I had two amazing meetings and three potential recruits.

Believe what you like, and I won't put my beliefs on you, but I believe that sometimes the good lord puts a little something in our gas tank, and I appreciate it.

The bike trip, due to work and personal conflicts, has been pushed back to next year. Sunshine, longer days, less rain, and less stress. I'm down for that! My running is getting back into shape, and I hope to get up to 5 times per week, and a five mile average by mid December. Been lifting weights, with a focus on climbing rope, and pull ups, as well as lats to push my body over the walls. Gotta get myself ready for Tough Mudder!

Off to the Sawbones'!

This is my greatest prize, earned during Race the Reaper, and it hurts like a motherfucker! I went to the Doctor's office and he told me that it wasn't infected, but rather only inflamed. As well, he told me that anti-biotic ointments, while disrupting infections, also disrupt healing. No more ointments. Let the cracking scab begin! Ugh..

The gal who checked me in, BTW, (Lindsay) was friendly, cute, and seemingly made a lovely moment of eye contact with me. I'm sure my fever was playing tricks on my brain, but a nice trick it was! lol.

Got a flu shot, and now I feel like a big sissy. Run tonight, and hopefully get the nastiness out of my system.