The New Year is going to be great!!

Well, the running has suffered. I had to take a break from any kind of distance and get back to speeding up my two miles to around 14:30 (which is pretty effing quick for me). I need to get my PT test done soon, so I can get back to distance. I MUST do Tough Mudder this year. Looking at Utah, New Hampshire, and (definately) Squaw Valley, and (mayyyybe) one in FLA (we'll see *laughs*). I cannot express how excited that I am, or eager to do these races. I only fear (and need to embrace) the electricity. Ride-the-fucking-lightening...

Drill Sergeant School is pushed off until June, and I might be taking a trip out to FLA sometime in March or April. The reason sucks, but the trip and the time will be amazing. I am simutaneously preparing for D.S. school, Tough Mudder, and a "cage fight". I really want to throw down with someone younger, trained, and in shape. I want to challenge myself beyond whatever else I have ever done, and I want to succeed where the younger NCOs currently are. Father time will win, but I won't ever give in. In 20 years I will still be me. I wish that was clear now.

I managed to close out some personal business, or rather it came to me and allowed me to find some peace in moving towards closure (not what I had hoped for, back in the day, but what simply is). I have been told by friends and family (hers and mine) that I am "fucking stupid", "somebody comfortable", and "asking for whatever you get", but I feel like having the chance to spend some time, before what is almost certainly inevitable (her moving, or moving on), is so much better than being cut off and out of her life. I like the closure, not just some bullshit text to tell me I don't matter. Tell me I don't matter, start seeing other people... let me learn to dislike you in person, or see that I was always true, and all of them, ALL OF THEM were wrong. Did they argue for her, or her happiness, or did they argue for their own perceptions and bias? Call me a sucker, but true love doesn't just die...it just gets a little more guarded.

January is Cabo San Lucas time! Heading to Mexico in Mid January for a week with a few friends. Wish I had one more...but that IS wishful thinking indeed. When I get back, I need to sink a bunch of money into my motorcycle. Going to lace a custom 21" for the front wheel, run electrical through the frame, mount the seat, fender, chain tensioner, and complete the tank. I have to upgrade the engine to some parts that allow the exclusion of a battery (permanently), and boost the H.P., and constant amperage for the lights. Blah, blah, blah....that shit is going to be retarded. I cannot wait to get on that bike. Every ride will be like taking my own life into my hands; no front brake, no turn signals, rear drum brake only.... "Do one thing, every day, that scares you". - Baz Luhrman. Goddamned right.

Running for distance and time....

I managed to get a four mile run in yesterday, and dropped three full minutes from my standard time. I'm going to run a 5K tonight, with hills, just to keep the short distances for faster time. I'm trying to stay motivated, both for personal fitness, as well as for my ultimate goal of getting through (in a somewhat competetive fashion) Tough Mudder. I'm hoping that my time in Utah will give me an extra boost with the mountain elevation versus the sea level running that I'm currently training at. I think a lot of this simply boils down to gutting it out.

I was promoted to E6 this last week. The higher rank is very nice for me, as I feel that I've earned it. The extra money will be nice for some of my hobbies.

The training continues. Yeah!

In stark contrast to my last post, I am bouyant and pleased now. :)

I got up early and went for a little more than a 5k run this a.m. I need to keep running four to five times per week and, initially, just continue adding time rather than distance, in order to build up my endurance. I have increased my lifting totals, both in numbers of repetitions and in over all weight. I have gained muscle mass, and am still losing fat, which is awesome.

My immediate goal is to add approximately five minutes per week to my run time, which should, ultimately add a little over a half mile each week (hey, I'm old and the longer I go, the slower I get! lol) I would like to be up to seven or eight miles by mid January, in order to have a good base to build on for my final goal of 14 miles. While I'm not trying to run a half marathon, I am indeed hoping to have more gas in the tank for the ten mile, obstacle laden Tough Mudder, as well as the 13 mile Spartan race (if I opt for that one...looks a bit goofy). Besides, if I can get to 14, then I can get to 24, and then I can shoot for the Iron Man, which is the end all, be all of what I would consider my finest physical achievement.

Going to Utah in mid January is going to put a bit of a drag on my progress, as I'll be running in elevation, as well as trying to find time to run in the snow, and in between classes. I don't think I can gain at first, but I sure hope that I don't lose too much either.

Have a great week!

Details, details....

I find that the little things, when viewed in the end result, are not so little. A little lie, a little extra dessert, a little thing forgotten; The butterfly effect perhaps? My week was filled with little things that, in and of themself, weren't a big deal, but the cumulative effect was awesome in its damage! lol. All things, well... most things, can be fixed; As with my confluence of disaster. There is always another day, week, effort, attempt, etc; A great end to a tumultuous time, says I!
One of my dearest friends is on a Scotland/Ireland trip right now and, as if I needed any further prompting, has me realizing just what I've been missing. Time to get my kit in order and make that trip happen. I would dearly love to go in 2012, but between the two Army schools that I have tried (and succeeded) to get, the Tough Mudder, and my two vacations planned (oh..and work), it'll have to wait until 2013. Now...Tough Mudder IS advertising an Ireland 2013 venue. Hmmmmmmm.
My running, weights and, especially, pull ups are coming along GREAT! I should be right where I need to be by January, and most definitely by race time. The goal is to finish, but to finish strong (especially for the old guy, both in school as well as in T.M.) would really kick some ass.
I love the Fall....running, smelling the crisp air, feeling the rain, and being able to wear long sleeves! lol. Makes me yearn for my wonderful Boston. Great times.

God through my iPod....

Had a terrible morning, and was pretty down, thinking about my ex girlfriend (seemingly out of the blue, no less) and my iPod started shuffling nothing but random shite songs... Waiting in Vain, Cathy's Clown, Ode to Joy, Suspicious Minds... the day seemingly was going down hill. (Today, I hate her... she said she did, and changed to...what? Have some hook up in a filthy place, with some fucking random guy(s)? Fuck you. Yeah, fuck right off). I prayed and gave thanks, for the many things that I do have, and for forgiveness for my many sins (I like to sock fellas and cuss a whole lot, and be hateful, unfortunately), and went about my business. Within an hour I had two amazing meetings and three potential recruits.

Believe what you like, and I won't put my beliefs on you, but I believe that sometimes the good lord puts a little something in our gas tank, and I appreciate it.

The bike trip, due to work and personal conflicts, has been pushed back to next year. Sunshine, longer days, less rain, and less stress. I'm down for that! My running is getting back into shape, and I hope to get up to 5 times per week, and a five mile average by mid December. Been lifting weights, with a focus on climbing rope, and pull ups, as well as lats to push my body over the walls. Gotta get myself ready for Tough Mudder!

Off to the Sawbones'!

This is my greatest prize, earned during Race the Reaper, and it hurts like a motherfucker! I went to the Doctor's office and he told me that it wasn't infected, but rather only inflamed. As well, he told me that anti-biotic ointments, while disrupting infections, also disrupt healing. No more ointments. Let the cracking scab begin! Ugh..

The gal who checked me in, BTW, (Lindsay) was friendly, cute, and seemingly made a lovely moment of eye contact with me. I'm sure my fever was playing tricks on my brain, but a nice trick it was! lol.

Got a flu shot, and now I feel like a big sissy. Run tonight, and hopefully get the nastiness out of my system.

Bruised and happy!

I ran a short and slow two miles before shower and bed last night, and stepped on a rock or root, thus bruising my left heel. Decided to run the (above pictured) Burnt Bridge Creek Trail today, and holy crap does the heel hurt. I cut it short and only ran three and a quarter, but at least I could test out the trail. It's all paved, and has a lot of gradual hills.

Essentially, the designers just paved a path under the power lines and through the green belt that stretches through Vancouver. It's scenic enough, has good access and parking, is 8 miles long and is used enough to not feel too secluded. I'll run it again, if only to train up to the 15 miles I'll need for Tough Mudder and, respectively, a half marathon.

In other news, I need to get off of my ass and get over to Don's to get some more money and ideas into my bobber. It has been sitting much too long.

What a couple of weeks!

Holy smokes...Since my last post I did a warm up/break in 30 mile ride on my new road bike. It was a great effort; lots of hills, and getting used to the gearing and pedals. What sucks is the damage that I did to my nether regions. I still can't 100% feel my privates. Suuuuck. I was pretty happy with my time and the guys that I'm riding with. One of them, Mark, is a friggin' dynamo and should probably tour with how strong he rides. *laughs* Our 370 mile coast ride, next month, should be pretty awesome!

Completed the Race the Reaper run last weekend. 5.1 miles, 1000 feet elevation, and 18 obstacles. It was totally awesome, and an ass kicker for me. A great first experience! I'm signing up for the Zombie Apocalypse run (at the end of the month) and plan on Warrior Dash, and Tough Mudder next year. Looking for a few other runs to participate in (meaning, every single one that I can find) and am seeing quite a few popping up. The folks running in them are simply an awesome group of people, and the after event is just as fun as the run. Hung out with a new batch of really nice and fun people that I had never met before. Very excellent experience!

Getting prepared for Drill Sergeant School right now. A lot of memory work, and a lot of physical too. The school is in a location with elevation, so I need to plan on running twice as far here, to try and make it there. I applied for Air Assault School today as well. Rappelling out of helicopters seems to be a damned good idea, in my book at least :) I love the badges, and the accomplishment of doing what a lot of my cohorts (civilian and soldier alike) don't do.

Great ride!

Here are some older photos of how the bike began (after hard tailing) and how it has progressed. No photos, until complete, are really going to do it justice. I need to get over to my builder/buddy Don's house and get him some coin for my bobber. We are at the 75 to 85% mark on completion with fabrication, and need to move into the mock up in order to tear down and get started on corrections, if any, prior to taking the bike to Powder coating. I need to get my wheels laced too, so we can accurately set up the front forks, as opposed to using the mag wheels on there now.
On a NON motorcycle, two wheeled note, today was my first ride, and did just under 30 miles. I discovered several things: clip in pedals, a more stout "butt cushion", and a sweet - cut out - gel seat. My legs and cardio were good, but whoooa daddy.... my nether regions were hurting on that last ten miles! I got some good advice from Mark and Fish, and will definitely be taking them up on that! I can definitely think of worse ways to spend a friday morning.
Had some good things going on at work, and am really looking forward to next week. Should be a clear and easy sail for the week. Speaking of work, I am going to a conference with the kids at a pretty cool hotel and indoor water park, called Great Wolf Lodge. Should be fun.

Some friends are more mean than others....

So some of my friends, one in particular, is more mean than the others. I love her for it! She's eating dead animals, and torturing her other, less important, friends while on her Texas trip. Shoulda married that one, but never underestimate the power of me fucking up a good thing. lol.

In all seriousness, I have some great friends. Life is good :)

Shortest entry ever!

Liberated!

Getting so excited for this 370 mile bicycle trip up the coast! I picked up some sweet bike shorts today (yes, those three words were never meant to be typed together by me), which are a hybrid of mountain bike/cargo shorts, with a padded crotch, so as to lessen the punishment of eight plus hours in the saddle, per day. Fuhhhhh. That's gonna suck! I need to pick up some bibs, a flat kit, waterproof gloves, and a few jerseys for the ride. It's going to be wet and cooooold!

So I deactivated my Facebook account, and plan on keeping it that way for eight months. It'll both keep me off of the Facebook "Social Media" tit, as well as ceasing unnecessary references and sightings of someone that I don't need to see or hear about when I'm not in the right mind frame. *laughs* If I'm with her family, then I won't be shocked to hear her name, and or see her posts, as opposed to seeing something by mistake. Deleting her didn't seem to be enough to stop thoughts. It was a lot tougher than I imagined it would be, and so I just took that part away. The heart was soft, kids...

On a lighter and more relevant/current note, I had a really nice date on Friday last. A friend of a friend and I had been texting and talking via e-mail, and met up in Seaside. We had a nice dinner and talked for a few hours. She is funny, cute, smart, and has a good head on her shoulders. No idea if it will go anywhere at all, but I enjoyed her company, and (like she said before we met), who can't use another friend? :)

Finally, there is a kick ass 5 mile obstacle course called Race the Reaper in October. Me and a few buddies/team mates are going to run it. I've been wanting to do one of these for a long time. It's like warrior dash, or a good old mud run, with traps and water, and...well, obstacles! :) Can't wait!

Tough, prideful, intelligent: they won't stop the hurt.

It is cloudy here today, the first time in a long time. It's been a hot mofo here in the Pac NW this summer, and I relish in the clouds, sprinkled rain drops, and feeling the my beloved Fall is on the way.
I thought about her a lot today, and the sting is still there. I don't obsess or wonder what she's doing. I don't think about who she is with, or what her day is like. I just miss that feeling of open love. I miss wanting someone with every fiber of my being, and -if only for a short while - feeling that she wanted me back just as much. I should be in Europe, asking her for her hand, but she changed her mind, and so here I am. I don't hold it against her...I just miss what was, and what could have been.

Erin McKeown sang it best...
"tonight in my disappointment and pride
I am amplified
They asked if I would be alright
Weren't I amplified
Tonight the pleasure would have been all mine
Weren't I amplified
The next time you come won't pass me by
I will amplify
You never know what you miss 'til you have it."

It makes me want to go and do, to be someone different, to be somewhere new, to be anonymous. A grown man, a veteran of combat, a fighter isn't supposed to be so fragile, and yet here I am. Each day seems to get better, with moments of brief and amazing sadness.

Kung Fu...the great equalizer.

So I took my son into Kung Fu tonight. He effectively took the last year off, after going for 6 years, due to my divorce and my lack of time due to work. I had been off for almost two years. I really love the martial combat aspect...going in on a sparring night was a bad idea. I'm going back to class tomorrow night, and hopefully can make a good habit of it until I leave for school (in January). I hope to train at a Mui Thai gym for the 5 months that I'm away at school. Since the school house is in Utah, I will be physically training (running, calesthenics) four days per week at an increased elevation. The addition of mui thai will give me the stamina that I need for the fight I want to get in May or June. Just one cage fight...well, maybe only one. No half ass stuff though. I'm fighting...watch me work.

Honesty in strange places.

Today I ran, and after my cool down, I found the following post (slightly expurgated...even I have some social decorum)...
"Certified smart ass (credentials upon request) seeking a very dynamic play relationship with compatible tops/sadists. I have room for three loves in my life. My husband. My Daddy. And one Scary Motherfucker. I am currently holding auditions for the later two".
Now, despite being funny as fuck (and grammatically chewed up), I was struck by the honesty of it. She doesn't want to role play, she wants to live it. That isn't some silly school girl fantasy, and one that will jam up people's lives, but her actual plan of action. Not really my bag of tricks, Kids...but refreshing to see.

Off to make breakfast for the hooligans. Don't let the world get you down, and remember...only you can prevent forest fires.

Post one - revisited...

had this blog before, but let it go. By let it go, I mean of course, that I created it and never really got it going. Without being to verbose, I decided that today, of all days, I should be thankful to be alive, and the least I can do is stick to my blog three or four times per week.