The New Year is going to be great!!

Well, the running has suffered. I had to take a break from any kind of distance and get back to speeding up my two miles to around 14:30 (which is pretty effing quick for me). I need to get my PT test done soon, so I can get back to distance. I MUST do Tough Mudder this year. Looking at Utah, New Hampshire, and (definately) Squaw Valley, and (mayyyybe) one in FLA (we'll see *laughs*). I cannot express how excited that I am, or eager to do these races. I only fear (and need to embrace) the electricity. Ride-the-fucking-lightening...

Drill Sergeant School is pushed off until June, and I might be taking a trip out to FLA sometime in March or April. The reason sucks, but the trip and the time will be amazing. I am simutaneously preparing for D.S. school, Tough Mudder, and a "cage fight". I really want to throw down with someone younger, trained, and in shape. I want to challenge myself beyond whatever else I have ever done, and I want to succeed where the younger NCOs currently are. Father time will win, but I won't ever give in. In 20 years I will still be me. I wish that was clear now.

I managed to close out some personal business, or rather it came to me and allowed me to find some peace in moving towards closure (not what I had hoped for, back in the day, but what simply is). I have been told by friends and family (hers and mine) that I am "fucking stupid", "somebody comfortable", and "asking for whatever you get", but I feel like having the chance to spend some time, before what is almost certainly inevitable (her moving, or moving on), is so much better than being cut off and out of her life. I like the closure, not just some bullshit text to tell me I don't matter. Tell me I don't matter, start seeing other people... let me learn to dislike you in person, or see that I was always true, and all of them, ALL OF THEM were wrong. Did they argue for her, or her happiness, or did they argue for their own perceptions and bias? Call me a sucker, but true love doesn't just die...it just gets a little more guarded.

January is Cabo San Lucas time! Heading to Mexico in Mid January for a week with a few friends. Wish I had one more...but that IS wishful thinking indeed. When I get back, I need to sink a bunch of money into my motorcycle. Going to lace a custom 21" for the front wheel, run electrical through the frame, mount the seat, fender, chain tensioner, and complete the tank. I have to upgrade the engine to some parts that allow the exclusion of a battery (permanently), and boost the H.P., and constant amperage for the lights. Blah, blah, blah....that shit is going to be retarded. I cannot wait to get on that bike. Every ride will be like taking my own life into my hands; no front brake, no turn signals, rear drum brake only.... "Do one thing, every day, that scares you". - Baz Luhrman. Goddamned right.