Some days....

Rough Sunday... Got up early and had a really good (albeit short) run, solely for PT testing time. I got a ton of grocery shopping done as well, which was nice. The Red Sox are winning after a terrible start. That makes me smile. I received my 21", 1975, spoked, drum brake rim this week. It's pretty cool, since I'm running a front brake now. I didn't like it at first, but it does make sense, and it looks pretty rock-a-billy.

I have decided to try and go back to Kung Fu on Monday and Tuesday nights, just to spar again. My knees will hurt, but I really would like to have a physical outlet, and to train. I miss fighting, and especially the good people that are at the Gwoon. We'll see what my schedule and lazy ass say. lol

Bobber Madness!!

I have another 21" front wheel now, and this one has a drum brake. My better half decided that a rear drum only was not enough braking power to keep me around for the allotted time that we should be married, and or for the insurance to kick in. I found it off an old 70's dirt bike, and it ought to be perfect. I worry only about the axle thickness, whether it will be too thin, or too thick. A larger diameter would be ok, as I could simply bore out the forks. We'll see when she gets here.

I'm going to buy a PMA kit to replace the stock stator, brushes, and flywheel. Will give me more juice and smoother current. As well, I'm going with a PAMCO hall effect ignition system. I'm really entertaining the idea of rephasing the engine now, and adding that version of the ignition system. Should be a boss... Between the rephase (which will increase h.p. as well as reduce vibration by half), the ignition, the PMA, and a general rebuild, this engine will be brand new. As reliable as anything off the showroom floor, powerful, and a brilliant addition to my bike.

Slainte!

Things do change, apparently

Despite all of the turmoil and acrimony, I ended up getting back together with my former girlfriend, and we are engaged to be married. I love her, unequivically, and this fact alone is what I hold onto when I have those moments of sublime anger. I say sublime, because they are pure, and from the heart. I just know what I know and, while it fades with time, the thoughts and knowledge brings me to a hateful boil. Hearing about her experience overseas, period, pretty much automatically brings those feelings and thoughts up. The way it happened, the people, the different person than who I thought I knew, and who I feel I know now.

I want nothing more than to marry her, and to be her adoring husband, and I will...but I fear that I will always hold that bitter disappointment in my heart.
I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything, truly, and she is the light of my life, but some other things are forever too. That is reality... I pray that it doesn't go wrong again, that she doesn't hurt me again. I am prepared if it does...Faith in her says to believe what she tells me…those walls that I tried so very hard not to build tell me to protect myself…to doubt her a little… to keep her at arms distance, if only a little. I hate those walls. With every fiber of my being, I hate those walls, and I hate the reason that they exist.